7 Things a Narcissist Will Always Say to Manipulate — and How I Learned to Respond

I didn’t realise I was dealing with a narcissist until I was deep into a cycle of self-doubt, guilt, and confusion. They didn’t wear a label — they wore charm, confidence, and just enough vulnerability to make me feel needed. Over time, though, I began to notice patterns. Certain phrases came up again and again, always after I’d set a boundary or asked for honesty.

Narcissists often say things to manipulate you — and here’s what I eventually learned to say (or do) in return.

1. “You’re too sensitive.” This was a favorite. Any time I brought up something that hurt me, it was met with “You’re overreacting.” My response now: “I’m allowed to feel how I feel. If it matters to me, it matters.” You’re not “too much.” They’re just unwilling to take responsibility.

2. “I never said that.” Gaslighting at its finest. I'd start questioning my memory, even recording conversations in my head just to hold onto reality. What I learned: Keep a journal or even text summaries of conversations. Don’t argue — just calmly say, “I remember it differently, and I’m standing by that.”

3. “Everyone agrees with me.” When I questioned them, suddenly they had a whole imaginary jury on their side. My response now: “I’m not everyone. I’m me, and I’m telling you this is a problem for me.” It’s okay to trust your gut, even if you stand alone.

4. “You’ll never find someone like me.” This one really got me — especially when I was feeling insecure. They made it seem like they were a rare gift I’d be foolish to lose. The truth: That’s the point. You don’t want to find someone like them again. Healthy love doesn’t threaten your self-worth.

5. “Look what you made me do.” Whether it was an angry outburst or cold silence, I was somehow the cause. My response now: “You’re responsible for your own behavior.” This simple truth broke a chain of guilt I didn’t even know I was carrying.

6. “You’re lucky I put up with you.” This one turned my confidence inside out. I started to feel grateful for being tolerated. Now I say: “I deserve to be celebrated, not endured.” No one who loves you should make you feel like a burden for being yourself.

7. “You’re the narcissist.” Classic projection. Once I began identifying their patterns, suddenly I was the toxic one. My rule now: If someone calls you a narcissist because you set boundaries or express needs, they’re showing you exactly why those boundaries are necessary.

Walking away from a narcissist — or simply refusing to be emotionally manipulated — isn’t easy. It took me years to even spot these patterns. But once I did, the power started shifting. And here's the best part: you don’t need to convince them of anything. You just need to reclaim yourself.

If any of these phrases sound familiar, you’re not alone — and you’re not crazy. You’re waking up. Trust that.